User blog:TurtleShroom/WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!
GAH! I was writing an article so well that I was out of my writer's block. I was back on top, I was on a roll, I was writing a brilliant article! Have you ever heard the phrase "The Internet is a Series of Tubes"? I was writing a parody of that. It was about a CEO of Dorkugal who barely has a clue of the Internet, but tried his hardest to run the most high-tech country in Antarctica. He had quotes upon quotes, and it took about two hours to get halfwaty done. I was writing and typing and inventing and telling a story, and I was all poised to move on to the Trivia section, when...... BOOM! INTERNET EXPLORER VANISHED! EVERYTHING A WORKED FOR... GONE! GONE! This just RUINED my work, it ruined it! RUINED IT! I was on a glorious roll, I was BACK, I was back!! Then, it crashed! EVERYTHING, GONE! I managed to snip this tiny clip of a budding HQA 3 article. Tim Stevens I will be the CEO of Dorkugal come 2013, when Stevie Falcon I dies. The more hard-cored nerds abhor him, the meme makers, Anonymous terrorists, and BOF adore him. He is famous for simply not understanding modern technology, his stuttering, his outdated electronics, and having this illusion that the Internet is a series of tubes. Contents hide 1 Background 2 Involvement 3 Quotes 4 Trivia 5 See also Background Tim Stevens has been called a Noob in a Dorkugese penguin's body. Ever since hatching, he had difficulties with computers. He tried all of his might, and figured out how to turn on a computer and perform the easiest of functions. He learned e-mail and Internet browsing, when others his age had gone into advanced programming. In has adolescence, he had trouble with running computers, but tried as much as he could. Striving to meet the demands of his peers and his school, he poured all he had into learning the computer. He longed to be like his classmates, to understand how to use a computer, to do great things with it. Of course, he never made it too well. Poor penguin. He tried, he tried hard. His classmates carried sleek MP3 players, he carried a portable cassete player. Tim's classmates owned Snowtendo DS, Tim got his flippers on a WaddleBoy Color, and figured out how to play one game. He was always behind. Jerks never went after him because he humiliated himself enough. He didn't have many friends because he was in the "special nerds'" class. Teachers struggled with him, not because he was a bad penguin (in fact, he was very kind), but because he simply didn't understand. Dorkugese custom has a computer, the Imperial Supercomputer, pick their next leader. They must accept whoever is chosen as their leader. The ISC picked Tim. Out of every citizen of Dorkugal, it picked Tim. No one knows how, know one knows why. Some believe that Anonymous rigged the vote for the Lulz, others that Jerks did it in their quest to make the Empire fall. Others blame Prepguins and infiltrators from Poshia. Others feel that Amluc Riam hijacked the nation and installed Tim as part of his plan to weaken Antarctica in Twilight and Shadow! Regardless, Tim was coronated on March 13th, 2013. He vowed to further his knowledge on technology and hoped to be a great CEO. Involvement With Tim as their head of state, Dorkugal's stance as the technological giant of Antarctica fell. Within six months, Dorkugal had fallen from first to third, behind the USA and UnitedTerra. Officials and analysts blamed Tim's poor understanding of regulation, bandwidth, and infrastructure for the slump. Lost in the illusion that the Internet can only hold so much bandwidth before it becomes "clogged", he passed heavy legislations that regulated bandwidth speed. Dorkugal's broadband was thrown back in time. It went back, all the way back, to 56kbs. Most people know that as Dial-up. The Dorkugese tried to handle it, but they couldn't. The nation went under. Tim was shocked. Was Tim evil? No. He was one of the friendliest penguins to ever hold office. Was he bribed or corrupt? No. He tried his hardest, and everyone acknowledged that he loved his country. Tim's spectacular failure as CEO was simply because of his trouble to understand the workings of technology. Tim listened to his advisors and the people, and everyone kept trying to tell him about technology and the Internet, and he listened intensely. He failed to get it, though. About eight months into his reign, Tim made a drastic move. The CEO is forbidden to abdicate. He can only leave the throne if he dies or is incapable of holding office. Tim, however, desperate to save the nation he was in charge of, appointed a board of regents. For the next nine years, Dorkugal was reigned by these regents, a Regency. The country rebounded almost immediantly, and the regents were masters of getting their boss out of the area to repeal his laws. It is very rare for a creature that powerful to willingly give up his power, but Tim did so for his country. He still, however, had a lot of power, but regulation, economy, technology, etc., went to the regents. Tim retained his passports, diplomatic duties, and other things that heads of state had to do. Everywhere he went, he made people laugh with his views of the Internet. He drew record crowds to his speeches. Quotes TriviaSee alsoLink? I'm devastated. I even found a song about a series of tubes. A SONG. --† This is Serious Business! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! † :) :) TurtleShroom Productions: Patent Pending. † 21:26, January 17, 2010 (UTC) Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts